Starting at the tail

There is so much death on a farm. I have killed so many things in my eight years here. I want to account for those deaths. I want to post the weekly bills of death on my hands. I want to paint a large canvas of the body of each mouse I've dropped from the trap and flung over the paddock fence for hens to eat. I want a reckoning. But first I want to finish the narrative that kills my sheep.